Staying Vital™ Blog

I came across this phrase "survival of the kindest"  - a term used by Frans de Waal - while doing some research yesterday.  Since then, I've been reflecting on how different life would have been for the developed world if we had taken time to question our strategies for "success" instead of just rushing headlong along the same path that our parents and grandparents labored under for so long.

As I prepare for the management classes I'm teaching this spring, the question is playing in my mind, "how would I teach this differently if the new rule is "survival of the kindest" and not the "fittest".  How can I/should I integrate theories of collaboration into the field of study that has been built upon competiton for so long now?  How does the management of organizational life and the relationship between business, government, societies, and NGOs change when we assume that collaboration is as viable a strategic option as is competition?

At the "macro" - big picture - level, we know that modern organizations have incorporated much more collaboration into their strategies; forming network, strategic partnerships, and even the trend toward open source all speak to the transition that organizations are making toward greater collaboration and pooling of resources. 

It's also clear that the field of positive organizational behavior and business ethics has reached the point where greater kindness - in many forms - is becoming part of what people talk about every day at work.

Even so, I wonder how our daily way of working and being in the world changes if we adopt a dual-mantra of "survival of the kindest" and "survival of the fittest"  for our daily mantra.  Will we find that the option of being successful by being kind helps to relieve some of the stress that is sapping our vitality and compromising our health? Or will we find that we become just as compelled to push ourselves to be kind as we may be pushing ourselves to compete?  Will we discover a source of greater energy and vitality? Will we become more hopeful about the global challenges we are facing?

Let's see.  In the meantime,  if you want to learn more about this point of view, you can hear an interview with Frans de Waal on Richard Heffman's Open Mind, hosted by  Richard D. Heffman.  Survival of the Kindest, Part I and Survival of the Kindest, Part II.

If we're going to stay vital,  we really need to be able to create a fire that can regenerate itself as long as there's enough fuel around and stop wasting our time and energy constantly relighting the same fire that we keep killing.  Here's what I mean...

Yesteday, I went to the Winslow Animal Sanctuary in Norton, MA where a fundraiser was taking place to support the sanctuary.  For a New Englander, huddling around a campfire on a brisk autumn day, meeting people as we all warm up by the fire, sharing food and stories - is part of our heritage, and makes anywhere we are, feel like home.   The fact that this particular campfire was in the middle of the sanctuary and the day was a fundraiser for the sanctuary added a sense of shared purpose to the experience.

I arrived about ten minutes after all the excitement; the giant pig had managed to escape while still shackled to the fence that he was dragging behind him. He raced his way through the fundraising area, and somehow found his way over to the blind horse, which the pig chased around.  The blind horse probably had no clue what all the noise was but knew enough to try to get out of the way. The three-legged cat quickly hid behind a tree, and everyone else - human and animal, stood in a bit of shock, except of course for the sanctuary staff who worked to get everything back under control.  By the time I arrived, the moment had become the campfire story, with each new campfire visitor being brought up to speed as they took their place around the fire.

I quickly noticed however that the "fire" was more like a smoke stack than a campfire.  I watched the people around it putting wet pine needles and fresh twigs on the fire so it would relight with a quick flash of flame and smoke and then just die right out - making it necessary to constantly keep throwing new "stuff" into the fire to keep it going.  

The girl scout in me knew exactly what to do. I started sifting the pine needles through my fingers to pick out the dry ones and put together a small stack of dry twigs and sort of fed these to the people around the fire to throw them in.  I found a large stick and poked the logs a few times to chip off the burnt outer crust and release the hot core. Trying not to be too obvious, I took my time and gradually started nudging the logs into position so air could flow between them.  That did it, the flames became steady and the fire burned with very little smoke for quite awhile, until...

Some folks had brought food and with the food came some treated paper plates and napkins which they thought would be a good thing to burn, so onto the fire they went.  Paper after paper...again, a quick burst of flames, smoke, and then nothing. In fact, so much useless junk got thrown on there, that the air could not reach the hot logs and the fire returned to a smouldering pile of heat.  The sun was starting to set anyway, so I started on my way home...

I started to think about whether or not we do this sort of thing in our lives.  Do we mistake a quick flash of energy or warmth or enthusiasm and a bunch of hot air, for an authentic fire that can fuel itself as long as there is enough fuel around?  Are we spending way more time and energy trying to stay vital then we need to, because we are not using the types of fuels (foods, exercise, thoughts, supportive relationships, etc.) that are "just right" for keeping ourselves feeling alive and vibrant? Are we actually exhausting ourselves unnecessarily by putting out our own inner fires by not paying attention to the fuels we're using, and then having to use an extraordinary amount of time and energy to keep reigniting the fire, only to put it out again and again?

My six weeks of Staying Vital™ has led me to Montreal and Toronto, Canada and also to Paris, France; and to launching a project starting at the end of this month with The Earthfire Institute, in Idaho USA - all joining my work with a green project in Rhode Island and a revitalization project in New England.

What's interesting about accomplishing the work of The Global Awareness Inititiave - which is the research I do on revitalizing work places, industries and communities -  and on my developing practice of staying vital is how important it is to have a solid foundation in place. Having a routine of exercise, and sleep, and a nourishing diet, along with sufficient time to rest and renew my strength and spirit, are fundamentals of being fit that have to be in place in order to pursue the things that help us feel alive and not work ourselves into poor health in the process.

The typical advice about how to do a lot and stay healthy is to keep everything in balance; but sometimes too much of a focus on staying balanced, can hold us back from opportunities, and creativity and the joy of living that often comes when we are just slightly off balance - when the challenges and opportunities in our life push us just beyond our limit but still realistically within our reach.

My thought is that what is really important in terms of staying vital (feeling alive and confident that you can effectively cope with what life is bringing to you every day) is about fitness - and by that I mean having a good sense of what is appropriate for the situation at hand. If I know myself - my strengths, weaknesses and limitations - and I am able to effectively assess a situation often with the help of others, I can make reasoned decisions about when to push, when to rest, what to eat, how to plan my day, and on and on.

Planning matters and routines matter for sure because they give us a sense of stability in a changing world, and because they help us enact the healthy lifestyle practices that keep us as fit as realistically possible given our current situation. It does seem to me though - at least right now - is that Staying Vital™ is about establishing a strong "home base" if you will, and a support and resource network, and then being as aware as possible of the richness of the moment at hand, and responding to it appropriately.

I can't help but think of a number of my friends and associates who are dealing with cancer right now and how inspiring it is to see them being in the moment - even the very painful and trying moments - that they are enduring as they stay vital day by day by staying engaged in doing whatever they can to sustain their wellbeing. Their actual physical condition does not define their sense of vitality; it is something they deal with as best they can with the help of others and their own fighting spirit. Their daily lives are proof certain to me that there is nothing more essential to human experience than being alive and being engaged in the process of sustaining and improving all Life to the best of our ability - whatever it takes, for as long as it takes.

That's the Staying Vital™ journey; day by day seeking out ways to support and improve life personally, in my community, and globally.

I have always been taught that I have to quiet my mind in order to de-stress my body. But I'm beginning to wonder about that.

I woke up this morning and, as usual, felt well-rested but I noticed how tense my body was; neck sore - shoulders tight and a feeling like I had to "get to work" right away.  My usual routine is to make a quick cup of coffee and jump into work for a few hours before getting ready to do my "real work" for the day (I'm on early riser).  It occured to me today that just maybe my body was waking up ready for action because my mind had a head start on it.  Time for a little experiment.

To check it out, I gave my body a chance to catch up with my mind.  It wasn't easy. I literally had to struggle against the urge to run headlong into my day. I sat myself down - maybe 5 minutes, and just loosened my tight neck and shoulders with the usual slow head rolls and shoulder shrugs; I did about 10 minutes  of Tai Chi Kwan (martial art that I'm learning). 

I don't know the mechanics of it, but it worked.  By taming the urge to run headlong into my day, my body seems to have a chance to wake up at its own pace, and that helped me feel more focused and grounded all day. Interesting.  My mind is still as active as it usually is but my body is more relaxed. Try it out sometime and let us know how your experiment goes.

Exactly how tired are you?  When do you tend to feel tired? What does it feel like?

Did you know that we use the terms "tired" and "fatigue" to describe a lot of very different experiences? According to Lauren Krupp, author of Fatigue: The Most Common Complaints,  feeling tired or fatigued is one of the most common complaints medical professionals hear from their patients. 

It's important to pay attention to exactly when you are tired, what you were doing, how you exactly feel,  and how long it lasts so that you know how to appropriately deal with your tiredness.  Sometimes we're tired for very basic reasons, like we didn't get enough sleep or we worked too long or too hard, or we're feeling some stress that we can specifically identify.  Sometimes tiredness lasts a while regardless of  what we are doing, and sometimes tiredness is accompanied by other things like feeling irritable, or unable to move forward in your life. 

The first key to Staying Vital™ is to become more aware of exactly how alive you feel throughout the day, and to notice and keep track of the patterns in which your tiredness arises.  An important first step in staying vital is to begin to keep a journal or dairy of your experience. If you find that your daily performance is falling short of your expectations on a regular basis, get in touch with you doctor and bring your journal or diary with you.  Feeling tired, or not have a sense of vitality for an extended period of time may be a sign of a medical condition that requires attention,  so it's important to check-into that possibility first.

"I can't focus. My mind is racing around. I can’t relax."   

Sound familiar?  These are comments I hear every day from  almost everyone I talk with; from women and men in executive positions, to parents, to even teenagers and young adults.

Most of us blame our racing minds and our inability to quiet them once in awhile on the amount of access to information we have, or to the fast pace of our lives, or to the seemingly endless demands on our attention and time.  These things may contribute to our inability to focus on the things that matter to us, but they are probably not the cause.

There are at least  three categories of causes for our inability to focus. 

•1.        Skills.  Many of us have simply never been taught the skills we need to focus our attention at will. There is a lot of information available about how to develop these skills and in the coming weeks, I'll be posting reviews and links to credible information and resources to help you do just that.  

•2.       Stress.  Living with chronic stress or living through an acute stressful episode often sets off a stress reaction in the body that makes is difficult to focus on what you want, when you want.  Sometimes the ability to focus improves once the person learns better stress management skills, or is able to leave the stressful situation.  However if the inability to focus is starting to interfere with your ability to accomplish what you want to accomplish, or is diminishing the quality of your life in some other way, the best place to start is with a medical consultation.  

•3.       Spirit.  The inability to focus is often created by a lack of personal energy and not giving your spirit a chance to express itself in your life, somehow.   These two work hand in hand.  Eating nutrient rich and exercising is part of the focus "equation" so to speak, but giving yourself a chance to relax, creating something, enjoying your relationships and just plain "feeling alive" again, is also an important part of what helps us focus when we want to focus, on what we want to focus. 

 As a management professor, the main questions I focus on are:  how can we create the results we want to see in our lives through our work?  How can we improve our sense of vitality and well-being? And,  how can we improve our personal performance at work?

In the coming weeks, I'll be posting reviews and links to other credible sources of information about how to improve your mental focus; and inviting guest posts from others involved with different aspects of learning these important life skills.

I had a startling experience a couple of days ago.  I began studying Taijiquan (Tai chi Chuan) with grand master Mark Bram a couple of months ago primarily to recover my strength after a long illness last year.  Taking even the first step of this ancient martial art form immediately revealed the tension in almost every part of my body; it also revealed the tight grip of my mind on my daily experiences and the effects of over-working on both my body and mind. In less than five minutes of practice, I had a very clear picture of my true condition.

I knew I wanted to practice to help my body, but I was not at all aware that the slow and steady practice of the postures and forms, coupled with the hours of talking were slowing building my determination to loosen up what now seems like  a strangle-hold that my mind and body have had on each other for many years.   

And then it happened. As I stepped through the form-  for just one moment -  chi.  Now, I've studied and practice eastern and western energy management methods almost all my life. I actually wrote a dissertation on using these skills in the work place.  I have experienced "chi" many times before in many other disciplines; but never like this.

The best I can describe it, is that it felt like a soft, cool, breeze of grace and love all moving in a strong easy flow, as near perfect a blend of very differently feeling energies (yin yang?) as I would have ever been able to imagine. 

It took me by  surprise. For a brief moment, all thoughts -  even my sense of self disappeared - and yes, that was a bit unnerving - but just for a second. In one sense I could not move; in another sense I didn't want to move.  I asked Mark for help, he guided me back into practice; but I have not been the same.  Both then and now, I want to "chi" again - and again - and again.

I learned a few things from this experience. First, while the practice of Tai Chi Chuan appears to be active when you are watching it, the inner experience when practicing it is as close to complete stability and calm as I've ever experienced.  Movement is occuring from a center of stillness and strength - with nothing standing between intent and action.

Second, loosening my self-image even just a little over the last few days is allowing a part of me that was unable to express itself, to have room to expand - starting to feel my vitality again.

I Chi, therefore I am.